Οι διαχειριστές του λογαριασμού Alt-POTUS 45 ή αλλιώς @IfHillaryHad στο twitter αποφάσισαν να δώσουν την απάντηση. Και είναι πέρα για πέρα ξεκαρδιστική! Και έχει update καθημερινά για τα –φανταστικά- πεπραγμένα της προέδρου Χιλάρι Κλίντον.
Φυσικά τρολάρεται μέχρι… δακρύων ο Ντόναλντ Τραμπ και οι συνεργάτες του αλλά και ο πρώην πρόεδρος των ΗΠΑ και σύζυγος της Χίλαρι, Μπιλ Κλίντον. Τον οποίο η… “πρόεδρος” Χίλαρι στέλνει για χαμαλοδουλειές συνέχεια. Τον οποίο στέλνει για καφέ και τα κάνει… ρόιδο, γιατί της φέρνει λάθος παραγγελίες. Λάθος κάνει και όταν τον στέλνει να πάρει τα ρούχα από το καθαριστήριο! Προβλήματα στον Λευκό Οίκο…
ΔΙΑΦΗΜΙΣΗ
Και αντί για τον Αυστραλό πρωθυπουργό που έβρισε ο Τραμπ, η Χίλαρι λέει στον Πούτιν να πάει να @#%@%!^$@ και φυσικά αντί για τείχος στα σύνορα με το Μεξικό, πίνει τεκίλες με τον πρόεδρο της χώρας Ενρίκε Πένια Νιέτο.
Φυσικά, η πρόεδρος Χίλαρι υπογράφει και το δικό της διάταγμα: το διάταγμα για να κλείσει ο λογαριασμός του Ντόναλντ Τραμπ στ twitter. Για ανθρωπιστικούς λόγους όπως αναφέρει!
Δείτε μερικά από τα ξεκαρδιστικά tweets!
DAY 6: None of my staffers have tweeted out their passwords. Also, Bill is picking out china from Etsy. #AlternativeFacts
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 26, 2017
DAY 7: Bill fucked up my Starbucks order. Told him to go back & get me a tall 1.5 pump vanilla latte. He’s First Dude™ now – it’s his job!
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 27, 2017
DAY #7: Told Putin to fuck off before my 2nd cup of coffee. Bill’s shooting a @funnyordie video. Read 100 more pages of policy proposals.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 27, 2017
DAY 7: No one’s obsessing about crowd size. Huma’s writing briefs like a boss. I told McConnell to fuck off *at least* 5 times today.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 28, 2017
DAY 7: Worked on some refugee policies. Tim’s playing the harmonica. Told Putin to shove it where the sun don’t shine.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 27, 2017
DAY 7: Wrapping up a productive first week. Bill’s playing Starcraft. Huma’s popping champagne & we’re toasting to the MF’ing matriarchy.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 28, 2017
DAY 8: Downed a couple of shots with the President of Mexico & we prank called Trump. THERE WILL NEVER BE A #FUCKINGWALL ASSHOLE.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 28, 2017
DAY 8: I’ve locked up the Nazis. Sent Bill to pick up my dry cleaning, but he fucked up & went to the wrong location. Oh & #RefugeesWelcome.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 28, 2017
DAY 9: Reading immigration policy briefs. Bill’s making me a panini. Haven’t casually invoked WWIII. Told Putin to fuck off.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 29, 2017
DAY 9: Issued an executive order to @jack to shut @realDonaldTrump‘s Twitter account down (for humanitarian reasons). We’re safer now.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 29, 2017
DAY 9: STILL NO NAZIS ON THE NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL OR IN MY MOTHERFUCKING WHITE HOUSE.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 30, 2017
DAY 10: Charged Trump w/ treason. Sent Chaffetz the “Why are you so obsessed with me?” GIF from Mean Girls. Ate a plate of nachos with RBG.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 30, 2017
DAY 10: Exiled Steve Bannon to Jupiter (it’s cold as fuck there). Met with 25 world-renowned climate scientists. Told Putin to go to hell.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 30, 2017
DAY 10: Filled all key positions in my administration. Re-read every Harry Potter book. Sent Bill to 7-Eleven for Sourpatch Kids.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 31, 2017
DAY 10: Reviewed policy briefs on equal pay. Tee-peed Trump Tower with Yates. Sent Bill to the kitchen to make me hot apple cider.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 31, 2017
DAY 10: Went to happy hour with Merkel. Laughed about how much smarter we are than most men. Put the final touches on PROJECT MATRIARCHY.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 31, 2017
DAY 10: Met with Merkel & we told Putin to fuck off. Out-bench pressed Ryan. Tim broke the world record for dad jokes in a single day.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 30, 2017
DAY 11: Subtweeted Ivanka’s fake ass feminism. Mailed a literal human spine to Ryan’s office. Sent Bill to CVS to pick up some nail polish.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 31, 2017
DAY 11: Started a group text with the world’s female Presidents/PMs. Called Sessions a racist to his fucking face. Sent Bill on a ☕️ run.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) January 31, 2017
DAY 11: Issued an EO banning anti-choice Justices from the SC. Told Chaffetz he’ll never fucking impeach me. Sent Bill to BevMo for tequila.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 1, 2017
DAY 12: Wrote a speech that made sense. Sent a bunch of #NastyWomen to Trump Tower to prank Donald. Told Bill to fetch me an iced tea.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 2, 2017
DAY 12: Had a good chat with Australia’s PM. Hacked into Chaffetz’s FB & posted “Hillary’s the best.” Sent Bill to Georgetown Cupcake.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 2, 2017
DAY 13: Haven’t provoked any war(s) over Twitter. Told the NRA to go to hell (where they belong). Bill found my Ray-Bans (Joe had ’em!) ????
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 3, 2017
DAY 14: Visited Bowling Green (it’s a real school). Told Ryan to wipe that dopey smile off his fucking face. Sent Bill to Krispy Kreme for ????
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 3, 2017
DAY 14: Milo is not allowed within 500 feet of my god damn WH. Told McConnell to fuck off. Tasked Bill with fetching beets from the garden.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 3, 2017
DAY 14: OH HELL NO KELLYANNE YOU DO NOT GO AFTER CHELSEA NOT ON MY WATCH SISTER
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 3, 2017
DAY 14: Didn’t spend $100K on a private business trip. Beat Chaffetz & Cotton at rosé pong w/ @katyperry. Sent Bill out to fetch macaroons.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 3, 2017
DAY 14: Summoned a meeting on net neutrality. Told Chaffetz that he’s fucking worthless. Sent Bill out to buy baby shower gifts for Beyoncé.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 3, 2017
DAY 14: Reviewed 500 pages of policy papers. Watched Hidden Figures with Taraji, Octavia & Janelle. Sent Bill to Taco Bell for quesadillas.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 4, 2017
DAY 14: Imposed additional sanctions on Russia. Went to HH with America Ferrera. Sent Bill to Walgreens to re-stock my Luna bar supply.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 4, 2017
DAY 14: Haven’t caused a constitutional crisis. Told Trump to fuck off forever. High-fived Bob Ferguson. Had Bill whip up a meringue.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 4, 2017
DAY 14: Destroyed the last Horcrux (Trump’s spray tan bottle). Subscribed Ryan to @TeenVogue. Sent Bill to CVS for Lindt truffle chocolates.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 4, 2017
DAY 15: I respect the court of law. Called McConnell & Ryan cowardly fucking sellouts. Sent Bill to Macy’s for Chanel No. 5.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 4, 2017
DAY 15: Still respect our checks & balances. Called Trump a “so-called citizen” (& then exiled his ass). Sent Bill to Drybar for hairspray.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 4, 2017
DAY 15: Met with my cabinet (they’re not all white guys, FYI). Told Huckabee to go to fucking hell. Sent Bill to Target for throw pillows.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 5, 2017
DAY 15: Told Putin he was a low-life scumbag piece of shit. Played Call of Duty with Maxine. Sent Bill to the liquor store for scotch.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 5, 2017
DAY 16: Reviewed briefs on immigration reform. Told Pence that he’s fucking pathetic. Sent Bill to Safeway for a Super Bowl snack stadium.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 5, 2017
DAY 16: Hired @melissamccarthy as press secretary. Told Ryan/McConnell that they’re spineless dickwads. Sent Bill to Giant for Budweiser.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 5, 2017
DAY 16: Co-hosted a #SB51 party with Beyoncé. Toasted to Lady Gaga & the MF’ing matriarchy. Sent Bill to Buffalo Wild Wings for more grub.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 6, 2017
DAY 17: Not making up fake terrorist attacks. Told Ryan/McConnell that they’re hypocritical fucking sellouts. Sent Bill out for empanadas.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 6, 2017
DAY 17: Haven’t publicly attacked media (but told Cillizza to fuck off). Flipped Ryan the bird. Sent Bill to Starbucks for my usual latte.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 6, 2017
DAY 17: Invited to address UK Parliament. Told Chaffetz he was a pathetic excuse for a human being. Tasked Bill with knitting me a scarf.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 7, 2017
DAY 17: Told @nbcsnl to bring on @Rosie for a cameo. Cheered on an all-night Dem Senate sesh. Sent Bill to Baskin-Robbins for mint chip
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 7, 2017
DAY 18: Met with teacher’s union leaders. Told Pence to wipe that stupid look off his fucking face. Sent Bill to Peet’s for a chai latte.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 7, 2017
DAY 18: Have a “No dickwads allowed” rule at the DOJ. Told McConnell that he’s a low-life POS. Sent Bill to Nordstrom’s for sensible heels.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 7, 2017
DAY 19: Haven’t melted down over a clothing store. Told McConnell that he’s fucking worthless. Sent Bill to Smoothie King for a peach drink.
— Alt-POTUS 45 (@IfHillaryHad) February 8, 2017
